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The LearningMethods Library
Golf In Mind
By David Robertson
Copyright (c) 2008 David Robertson, all rights reserved world-wide
INTRODUCTION
This article deals with some of the issues that have come up for me over time
as I play and continue to learn about golf. It touches on areas such as how learning and mistakes
work, how and why we can sometimes get in our own way, and how we often don't enjoy this wonderful
game nearly as much as we could! Although golf is the topic used in the following discussion, the
issues that arise are relevant in many other spheres of activity, be they sporting or otherwise.
I believe, in précis, that you will play the very best golf you can play for
your current level of skill, when and only when you can approach each shot with a clear visualisation
of what you want to happen, and can then proceed to let your golf swing, as you currently understand
it, to happen with a clear, empty mind. The extent to which your mind is clouded by swing and mechanical
thoughts and other distractions, such as ideas of pressure and importance of the particular shot
you are playing, is the extent to which you will interfere with your swing and therefore the extent
to which you will play below your actual current potential skill level.
Yet, and this is the crux, to say that you should simply "try to clear
your mind", or "try to let the swing happen", without a clear understanding of why extraneous
and distracting thoughts come into your mind, is futile, and no matter how good you become at "getting
rid" of these thoughts, the fact is that unless you understand why they are there in the
first place, what actually causes them to be there, you will never be totally free to
let your swing happen naturally and instinctively. And the more powerful the thoughts and the more
seeming importance you place on the shot, the greater will be the need to try to "control" the
shot and "help out" and "try to make sure" (as if any of these things were actually possible!).
So the real task of the golfer who wants to really learn and improve, is to
attain a clear understanding of why destructive thoughts enter the mind. And in order to attain
that understanding we must be clear that all these thoughts are simply the symptoms of certain
"ways of seeing things" or "belief systems" if you like, many of which have developed gradually
through the years, and the apparent validity of which we rarely question, if ever.
I have written this article in the form of a dialogue between myself and another
golfer. Many of the questions put by the golfer are the kinds of questions that have come up for
me over time, so in many ways this is a conversation between my current and previous levels of
understanding! The arguments put forward reflect my present understanding of a number of issues
and some are perhaps clearer to me than others, but all are becoming clearer over time, the more
I explore this territory. So while everything written here is naturally written from my own perspective,
and is a reflection of my own experience, I hope that some of it might resonate with you and be
of interest or use to you. For purposes of authenticity, I have used quite a lot of specific golfing
terminology, and I apologise to readers who may be unfamiliar with this, however I trust the general
meaning and significance of these sections will remain clear. Finally, I apologise to female readers
for the almost exclusive use of the personal pronouns he/him etc. This is done simply
for the sake of syntactic coherence and the examples given obviously apply to both he's
and she's!
David:
The first question to ask is, "Why do you play golf?" Is it to win tournaments, for fun, to learn
and improve? The answer you give to this question is pretty important, as it will largely determine
the thought processes you go through when you practice and play and therefore, by definition,
how you play, or at least how you play the game in your head!
Golfer:
I want to win as many tournaments as I possibly can
David:
And to achieve that what would you have to do?
Golfer:
Play my very best golf as consistently as I possibly can
David:
And how do you achieve that?
Golfer:
By practicing lots! And not letting any distracting thoughts get in the way as I play
David:
So let me ask, can you think of a situation you've been in where you've played your absolute best
golf, or at least the best golf for the level you are currently at?
Golfer:
It sometimes happens in my practice rounds, yes I can think of a recent practice round where I
played a great round of golf.
David:
OK, and now can you think of a situation where that hasn't happened, where you've not been satisfied
with how you've played?
Golfer:
Yes, just last week in a tournament.
David:
So we have two situations here and there seems to be an interesting contrast between them. In the
first situation you played well and in the second you appear not to have played so well. So what
we could do is compare the two situations to see if we can become clearer on a number of things:
what were you doing differently or what was happening differently in the first situation as compared
to the second?
Golfer:
Well, lots of things!
David:
OK yes, there would of course be quite a lot of differences, some of which may be more important
or relevant than others. Perhaps the best thing is to list the two or three differences that you
consider most relevant and we can look at those one at a time to see if there is any one fundamental
difference or a number of fundamental differences.
Golfer:
OK, the main differences were that in the practice round I was there to learn things and to try
to improve and there wasn't so much pressure.
David:
OK, before" we go on to look at the second round you played, I just want to point out that word
"pressure". Can you finish that sentence? "pressure" to do what? "pressure" exerted by whom?
Golfer:
Pressure to play well. And I guess that would be pressure I put on myself.
David:
OK, we'll come back to that a bit later. So we've gotten a little clearer as to what was going
on for you during that first round, so what about the second round, when you were in the tournament.
Golfer:
Well there I wasn't in learning mode, I was in competition mode, and there was definitely more
pressure!
David:
Pressure … ?
Golfer:
To play well!
David:
OK, so of course there may be other differences between the two rounds of golf and they may or
may not be as important or relevant as those that you've pointed out but let's take a closer look
at what we've got so far. One of the differences you mentioned was that during the first round
you were in "learning" mode. Can you say exactly what you mean by that? Learning what
exactly?
Golfer:
Learning how to improve my game, things like distance control, course strategy, shot-shaping and
so on.
David:
OK, so let's take a second to think about how learning actually works. For example, how do you
learn to shape a shot?
Golfer:
Well, personally, I visualise the shot a few times, I work on set-up changes that will promote
a draw or a fade or whatever it is that I want to achieve and I repeat that until I've learned
to do it!
David:
OK, now let me ask this. In that particular instance do you do the learning or does the
learning happen? What I mean is, once you've tried the shot a number of times and made
your set-up changes and so on, do you still have to think about things while you actually make
the shot or can you let your system take care of that for you? So is it you who learns
or your system that learns?
Golfer:
I'm not quite sure I follow!
David:
OK, let's take a slightly different example. Take something like the golf swing in general. Of
course there are lots of things to learn about the swing, and some golfers go into great "technical"
detail in their search for the "perfect" or most consistent swing. But the question remains, for
whatever particular level of skill you have as a golfer, be it a 28 handicap or a tour pro, as
you actually swing the club, do you have to continue to actively think of all those individual
aspects of the swing that you have learned, or do you let your system swing the club for you?
Golfer:
Well, certainly when I hit my very best shots, I'm not really actively thinking anything at all,
so yes, I suppose you could say my "system" swings the club and the thinking part of me is just
along for the ride!
David:
OK, now let's look at it a little differently still. Is learning something you do or something
that happens?
Golfer:
Hmm, I'm not quite sure I follow again.
David:
OK, let's take an example of a situation where you could definitely say learning has taken place.
For example, when you were a kid, or maybe even now (!), and you were playing short game challenges
with your friends. Did you specifically think of that as a learning situation or were you just
having fun and trying to get the ball in the hole?
Golfer:
Really just having fun, but we did it to learn as well.
David:
Yes, of course, but, and this is important, even if you hadn't been thinking of it as a learning
opportunity, if you had only been doing it for fun, do you think you wouldn't have learned anything
from the activity at all, nothing about touch and feel and the roll of the greens?
Golfer:
Well, yes I guess I would have learned something, maybe not as much but something.
David:
Of course we can't say for sure, but we can do a kind of reductio ad absurdam with this
idea, take it to its most extreme. Think of when you were a toddler learning to stand and take
your first steps, for example. Obviously hard to remember exactly what you were thinking, but do
you think you were "trying to learn" to walk? Would you have thought of it in those terms or were
you just trying to get across the room to give your mum a hug, or to get up to see what was on
top of the kitchen bench, just being curious about what was around you?
Golfer:
Well, I suppose I was just being curious about my surroundings.
David:
Yes, and as a by-product of this curiosity you learned to walk. Or to be more precise, your fantastically
cool, millions of years evolved learning system learned to walk for you so that once you
had learned that particular skill you never really had to think about it again. And really even
when you were learning to walk, were you thinking about the position of your legs, which individual
muscles to use, how to keep your balance and so on or did your system take care of all of that
for you?
Golfer:
Hmm, yes, I didn't really have to think about that at all.
David:
And now that you're an adult do you ever have to think about how to walk?
Golfer:
No, thankfully my system seems to have got that one down pretty well!
David:
Yes, and this applies to all sorts of really extremely complex skills that you have acquired through
the years, like talking, whistling, riding a bike, even, dare I suggest, playing golf! So the real
point here is that learning is not really something that we as humans have to actually
do in the active sense. Learning is really a fundamental human characteristic, in a very
fundamental sense we are learning creatures, it is in our very nature to learn. By a happy
co-incidence we also tend to learn the most when our curiosity is really stimulated and when we're
having fun and being interested in something. Think of how many boring classes you had in school
and how difficult it was to remember anything, whereas when teachers were able to make it more
fun and interesting you tended to learn more!
Golfer:
OK, I can see that.
David:
So, if perhaps in a rather round-about way, we can begin to get back to some fundamental questions.
I initially asked why you play golf, or what you aims were, and you said "to win as many tournaments
as I can".
Golfer:
That's right
David:
In order to achieve that we agreed that you would have to practice lots, presumably in order to
learn lots, and also to keep distracting thoughts away while you play. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
So to look at the first part of that equation, the "practice" part, would you agree that, in order
to learn as much as possible, you need to be clear as to how learning in humans actually works.
So, for example, a practice session that you make as fun and creative and inventive as possible
is going to be giving your brain lots of stimulation so that your system will learn lots, whereas
a practice session where all you do is think about swing mechanics and beat golf balls until your
brain is really quite bored isn't going to be so productive, as your curiosity and "learning systems"
will more or less switch off! Or perhaps more commonly, a practice session where you scold and
berate yourself for not hitting the right shots will not be terribly conducive to learning. We
might come back to that actually! But in the meantime it is important to be clear about how learning
actually works so that you can learn as quickly and easily and in as fun a way as possible. But
it is also vital, of course, to be able to make the most of that learning when it "really counts".
And, getting back to our comparison of the two rounds, it seems that when you get into a tournament
round, in your words you go into "competition mode and there is more pressure".
Golfer:
Yes, that's right
David:
So let's look at that a little more clearly. Can you say what you mean by "competition mode"?
Golfer:
I have to try to play my best
David:
OK, notice the word "try" there. Do you find that when you play in competition you generally do
play your best or do you "try" to play your best?
Golfer:
Well, sometimes I play pretty well, but not consistently.
David:
Just to be clear here, not as consistently as when you are playing a practice round?
Golfer:
No
David:
So notice the contrast there. In your practice round do you "try" to play your best in the same
way as you "try" in your tournament rounds?
Golfer:
Well, no
David:
And can you think why not?
Golfer:
Well, because it's not so important, there's not so much riding on it
David:
OK, so it seems there are two things to look at here. First, the idea of "trying", or somehow thinking
and acting differently in a tournament round as compared to a practice round, and secondly, the
idea that a tournament round is somehow more important, which we'll come back to in a moment. So,
first things first, when you find that you are trying to play your best, is there anything
in particular that you do to achieve this goal of "playing your best"?
Golfer:
I try to make sure my set-up is correct and that I concentrate and focus as much as possible.
David:
OK, now what do you mean by the words "concentrate" and "focus"?
Golfer:
I try to clear my mind of any distracting thoughts, try to clear my mind so I can focus on the
shot I want to make.
David:
OK, this idea of concentration and focusing is really interesting. Think for a second of your practice
round, that round that went so well for you. Were you trying to "concentrate" and "focus" during
that round?
Golfer:
Well, no, I was just really in the zone, for most of the holes anyway.
David:
Can you say what you mean by "in the zone"?
Golfer:
There was nothing else in my mind but the shot, seeing the shot, seeing my swing, and then making
the shot.
David:
So, to be clear, would you say you were really focused during that round?
Golfer:
Oh yes!
David:
But were you doing that? Were you actually having to "try" to focus and to concentrate?
Golfer:
No, not at all
David:
In fact were you even thinking about ideas like "focus" and "concentrate" at all? Were you
doing that at all?
Golfer:
No!
David:
So can you think why you would have to "try" to focus or concentrate more in the tournament round?
Is it that there is something else in your mind that's tending to take you out of the "zone"?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it. There are thoughts that come into my mind that shouldn't be there and so I have
to try to get rid of them!
David:
So you see, focusing and concentrating are not something that you do. Rather they are
a state of mind where distracting thoughts aren't happening and so your mind can easily
stay on the task in hand. What actually happens when you play in a tournament is that there are
other thoughts that are in your mind that presumably aren't so much fun to have there, or aren't
so useful, and in your words "shouldn't" be there. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it.
David:
But do you also then see that, rather than "try to focus", what we should really do is get rid
of these distracting thoughts. If they were all gone you would simply be easily able to think about
what you really want to think about, your golf game!
Golfer:
Yes, but it's not easy to just "get rid" of them!
David:
Absolutely! And so we're not going to try to get rid of them at all! Rather, we can begin
to have a clearer understanding of exactly what these thoughts are and more importantly, why
they occur, what's behind them. If we can look at the logic of the underlying ideas and beliefs
which lead to these thoughts we'll be able to scrutinise that logic. If it stands up to scrutiny
all well and good and we'll have discovered that actually all those ideas do make sense
and that those distracting thoughts really should be there and so it really is difficult
to focus in a tournament round! Or we may find (and I'm hoping that we do!) that the ideas and
belief systems that act as the "drivers" for these thoughts, really don't have any logical basis,
and that once this is clear to you, the thoughts simply won't re-occur. The beauty of this approach,
briefly, is that it is so different from many strategies and techniques for helping with the mental
side of the game, for coping with "pressure" and "nerves" and so on. Most of these strategies are
based around "positive thinking", "visualisation" and so on, but they do not address the underlying
fundamental causes of "negative" thinking, and so you are left with strategies that you have to
keep employing time and again, because until you root out those underlying beliefs, the distracting
thoughts will keep coming back time and again.
Golfer:
OK, sounds a bit complicated!
David:
Well, let's start from the start with concrete examples. Let's get back to those two contrasting
rounds of golf. In your tournament round you said you were in "competition" mode and that there
was more pressure to play well, is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's right
David:
OK, what exactly do we mean by the word "pressure", "pressure to play well"?
Golfer:
Hmm, it's a feeling that I have to play well
David:
OK, let's look at that. There are two things to look at here, the "have to" and the "play well".
Let's take the idea of playing well first. In your experience, and your practice round might serve
as an example here, at those times when you do actually play well, and by play well I'm presuming
we're meaning playing to your current skill level (although people do at times expect themselves
to somehow magically hit shots that don't even come off very often in practice — yet!) what exactly
is it that you are doing or thinking or what is it that is happening at those times as opposed
to when you're not "playing well"?
Golfer:
Hmm, I'm no too sure. There certainly isn't usually that feeling of pressure, the feeling of "having
to" play well.
David:
OK, well you could of course make some experiments to see exactly what is going on for you at those
times, but is it safe to say that, at least in that recent practice round where you played so well,
there wasn't a feeling of "pressure" or "having to" play well?
Golfer:
That's right
David:
So notice the irony there that you actually tend to play better golf when you're not actively
trying to play well! But more importantly, let's look at why it seems more important that
you "play well" in competition, or that you "have to" play well in competition. Before I ask this
next question let's just get a little clearer on this idea of "play well". What exactly do we mean
by that?
Golfer:
Well, to "play well" is to strike shots the way I'd like to, to hole putts, generally to put together
a good score.
David:
So you are saying that whenever your shots work out the way you'd like them to, and the putts drop
and so on, then you are playing well?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Is that a little bit like the recent practice round you mentioned?
Golfer:
Yes, like that
David:
And when things are working out nicely for you like that, are you doing the good shots
or are the good shots happening?
Golfer:
Well, when I hit my very best shots, it's like I know I've learned how to do it and so I just get
out of my way and let the shot happen.
David:
So do you really begin to see that when you play your best golf you don't actually do
very much, in the sense that you're not trying to do the swing or trying to control
the swing directly as you actually swing the club. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it, but when I'm in competition I don't always feel I can let go like that
David:
Exactly, and that leads me on to that next question which is what is it exactly that is keeping
you from just letting the shots happen when you are in "competition mode"? Is it that it all seems
more important?
Golfer:
Yes, I feel like we're going in a circle here! I know that trying to control the shots
directly doesn't work, I just get in my own way, but I still don't feel able to let go of that!
David:
OK, well this is where we can begin to break out of that circle. You said that when you play in
competition there is more pressure because you feel you "have to play well". OK, why?
Golfer:
Why do I have to play well?
David:
Yes.
Golfer:
Well, if I don't play well, I won't have a chance of winning!
David:
OK, two questions arise from that. Firstly, and this may on the face of it seem like a silly question,
why is it important to you that you win?
Golfer:
Because that's the whole point of playing!
David:
OK, just to be clear, can you finish that sentence? Winning is the whole point of playing … golf?
golf in competition? or what exactly?
Golfer:
Well, competitive golf.
David:
So does this mean that unless you are guaranteed to win there is no point in playing?
Golfer:
No, of course not!
David:
OK, let's look at this then. Are you clear as to why winning is the "whole point" of competitive
golf?
Golfer:
Well, I know that if I don't win I feel worse than if I win!
David:
Is that actually true? Can you imagine a situation where you play your very best golf, let's say
you play the best golf you've ever played in competition, and you're coming down the stretch needing
a birdie on the last to make the play-off. You hit a perfect mid-iron into the green but the wind
suddenly gets up and your ball comes back off a false front. You hit a wonderful 40 foot putt that
shaves the lip and tap in for par. You shoot a final round 66 but come second by a shot. Are you
really saying that there was "no point" to that round of golf?!
Golfer:
Hmm, no, that'd be a pretty cool round to put together!
David:
OK, and by the same token, let's say you play in a tournament where everyone pretty much plays
terribly! And you play absolutely terribly by your own standards, can hardly hit the ball straight,
but you get some great breaks. On one approach you even shank the ball into the trees but it kicks
out and rolls up next to the pin. So you play terribly but not quite as terribly as everyone else,
and the tournament sponsors are almost embarrassed to put their name to the trophy, but, hey, you
win! Would that be satisfying for you?
Golfer:
Well, hey, a wins a win! But no, I guess I'd rather win by playing my best golf.
David:
Well, let's be a little careful here though. Given these examples, is it actually true that the
whole point of playing competitive golf is winning or winning by playing great golf?
Golfer:
Well, winning by playing great golf, because that way you'd really feel like you could repeat it!
David:
Exactly, but as we saw in the example, what would happen if you played some really fantastic golf
but came up just short of the win? Think of Rocco Mediate against Tiger Woods in the US Open play-off
for example!
Golfer:
OK, I see your point
David:
So it's important to be clear that you cannot ever guarantee that you will win a tournament. All
you can do is give yourself the best chance possible of playing your best golf, and if that happens
to be good enough to win then so much the better. And as we saw earlier the only way you can give
yourself the best chance of playing your best golf is to let the shots happen, without worrying
too much about winning and so on!
Golfer:
OK, I feel like we're getting somewhere here, and some of this feels a bit familiar, things like
"staying in the moment", "thinking only of the next shot" and so on, but I still really want to
win golf tournaments!
David:
Of course, so let's go back to that statement from earlier and try to complete it: "Winning is
the whole point of competitive golf because …"?
Golfer:
Because … because if you can win consistently, not just back into a win like in that example before,
but win by playing really well consistently, you can consider yourself to be the best golfer.
David:
The best golfer … ever? compared to whom? The best golfer you can be?
Golfer:
I want to be the very best golfer I can be.
David:
And why would you need to play in competitions in order to achieve that?
Golfer:
So I can compare my standard of golf to other players
David:
Well, no, if your aim is to be the best golfer you can be, that really has got nothing
to do with anyone else does it?
Golfer:
Well no, but I want to be able to play to the best of my ability even when I play in front of other
players, in competition.
David:
So is your aim to be the best golfer you can be, or to be the best golfer you can be in front of
others?
Golfer:
The best golfer I can be in front of others, or compared to others.
David:
OK, so we can say that if you win a golf tournament, or as you said, consistently win tournaments,
you could rightly consider yourself to be the best golfer compared to the other golfers you are
competing against. Is that right?
Golfer:
Well, yes, if the wins were repeated over a period of time.
David:
OK, it's important to be clear here exactly which criteria we are using to determine this
label of "best" or "better than". If you play in a golf tournament, and I warn you this may sound
patronising (!), which criteria are used to determine who wins?
Golfer:
Well, the player who has the lowest score after a number of rounds!
David:
So if you play the course in fewer strokes than your fellow competitors you win the competition,
right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
And we're clear that you would like to be able to do that on a regular basis, right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
Why?
Golfer:
Why would I like to win?
David:
Yes, why would you like to win?
Golfer:
Well, because it feels great!
David:
Feels great compared to what?
Golfer:
Well, to not winning!
David:
Again, why?
Golfer:
Well, lots of reasons, but for one, because it means that I played the best golf.
David:
OK, if we're being really precise, and bear with me here, we're getting to the point of all this
in a moment, you played the course in fewer strokes than everyone else and that gives you a better
feeling than if you hadn't achieved that. Is that accurate?
Golfer:
Yes, that's accurate
David:
So notice here that by its very nature, a competition or tournament is a way of comparing the skill
levels of a number of people in a certain discipline. If you win the golf tournament, or consistently
win tournaments, you would say you are the "best" golfer, right?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
OK, so now let's look at exactly what that label "best" means. There are obviously a number of
contributing factors which would lead you to score consistently lower than others. What would some
of those be?
Golfer:
Em, skill level, mental toughness, strategy, there are probably more …
David:
OK, but broadly we could put them into two categories: skill sets, which would include things like
understanding of the golf swing, touch around the greens, distance control, strategy for each hole
and so on, and the second would be the ability to bring all these skills to bear when in a competitive
situation, or as you called it, mental toughness.
Golfer:
Yes, that sounds right, mental discipline or clarity, being able to think clearly under pressure.
David:
OK, so let's look at these categories one at a time. First we have the various skill sets. Put
simply if you have a higher skill level than another player does that make you a better player
than them?
Golfer:
Yes, of course
David:
Well, would you agree that it kind of depends who you are comparing yourself to? Obviously your
skill level is higher than a six year old kid just starting out, but would you class yourself as
"better" than them?
Golfer:
No, well, better in terms of my skill level
David:
Do you see the confusion that can arise with the word "better" though? If we're being really accurate
we could say that you have a higher skill level than the six year old, but whether you are "better"
or not depends entirely on the criteria you are using to define "better" and "worse". For example,
if the criteria being used to make the judgement are "skill level" then of course you are "better",
but if the criteria being used to determine who is the better golfer is, say, "enjoyment and fun",
then we may well find that the six year old is "better" at golf than you because he or she has
loads of fun and gets really excited when they hit the ball twenty yards! So you see it is important
to be very clear as to the criteria we are using to determine the "betterness"!
Golfer:
OK yes, but in tournament play obviously the criteria is "skill level"
David:
Yes, of course, but let's think about that for a second. If your skill level is higher than another
player does that make you "better" than them?
Golfer:
Well, not better than them as a person, but better as a golfer
David:
Yes, and do you get satisfaction from having a higher skill level than other golfers?
Golfer:
Well, not six year olds (!) but other golfers in the same tournament, yes.
David:
So are you saying that to compare your skill level to a six year old is unfair whereas to compare
it to other golfers in a tournament is a fair comparison?
Golfer:
Absolutely
David:
Yes, this is, of course, very important, because if you are going to compare things, be it golfers
or really anything for that matter, you must make sure that the things you are comparing are alike
enough to actually bear comparison. It wouldn't make sense, for example, to compare a set of high
quality forged blade irons with a cheap starter set. Or if you did compare them you would need
to be very clear as to what exactly the criteria being used to make the comparison were. If quality
and ball control are your criteria, then the blades are "better", but if you're just starting out
and can't afford to spend much on clubs, then the starter set is obviously "better". So, to get
back to your example, do you feel that you and the other golfers in the field are alike enough
for you to be able to make a valid comparison of your skill levels?
Golfer:
Well, yes
David:
Are there a number of factors which contribute towards a golfers "skill level"?
Golfer:
Em, yes, there's talent, practice, discipline, strategy and so on.
David:
OK, let's look at a few of those contributing factors in a bit more detail to see what merit or
otherwise they each may hold. Take a golfer who happens to have been born with a real "talent"
for golf, so that when he was a little kid it was clear that he had really nice hand-eye co-ordination
and a feel for the game. That's obviously going to give that kid a head-start in terms of his golfing
skills, but could we say in any way that the child had "earned" or "worked for" that particular
talent?
Golfer:
Well, no it would be chance I guess.
David:
So would it be fair to compare that kid to another who simply hadn't been born with the same level
of hand-eye co-ordination or the same "talent"?
Golfer:
Well, he would still be better at golf.
David:
Better or more skilled, more able?
Golfer:
Well, no, better!
David:
Better in what way?
Golfer:
Well, more skilled, argh!
David:
So would it still be valid to compare the two kids' "goodness" as golfers if one had, by sheer
lucky chance, been blessed with a better co-ordination? Of course the first kid might really enjoy
having fun with those skills, but should he feel "proud of himself" for having the higher skill
level, even though he had done nothing whatsoever to earn that?
Golfer:
No, not if that's the only factor but there are lots of other things that come into play, like
hard work and practice, dedication and so on.
David:
Yes, we'll come to that in a moment, but first it is important to clarify our terms here. When
we talk of someone's "skill level", that can be measured reasonably objectively. So child "A" might
have a demonstrably higher skill level than child "B". However, to then put that into such subjective
terms as better and worse really doesn't make much sense. What I'm saying is, to have a certain
skill level is one thing, but to link how good or bad you feel about your golf or indeed yourself
because of that skill level is something altogether different. If child "B" were to feel embarrassed
while playing golf with child "A" just because his skill level wasn't as high, even though child
"A" had done nothing whatsoever to "earn" that higher skill level, but was just "lucky" enough
to have been born with it, that embarrassment would be the result of a misunderstanding. Child
"B" would not have understood that it is not a fair comparison to make.
Golfer:
Well, it might spur him on to practice and do better
David:
It may or may not, but what we're looking at is the idea of "better" and "worse" and the feeling
of embarrassment or inadequacy that can lead to. People don't tend to enjoy feeling like that,
and indeed it can be enough to stop us wanting to even try to learn new skills. How many golfers
are there out there who perhaps, through family or work commitments, simply haven't got the time
they would like to dedicate themselves to improving their golf? Or perhaps they aren't blessed
with the same natural hand-eye co-ordination as their golfing friends, or for whatever reason,
and through no fault of their own, have a lower skill level than other golfers in their circle.
Or perhaps they get nervous because of these thoughts of comparison and the feeling that others
are judging them and making comparisons, without understanding how baseless those comparisons actually
are! The classic example here is that of the high handicapper who plays in a pro-am and can't help
feeling that he needs to berate himself or apologise to the golf pro after almost every shot. These
are the golfers who somehow feel they are "at fault", or "stupid" or an "idiot" or "no good" when
mistakes happen in their golf. And ironically, it is largely these feelings of comparative inadequacy
and self-judgement that stop them actually having fun and learning more about their game.
Now, let's expand our example a little to see if we can move closer towards
the situation you find yourself in. You mentioned practice and dedication a few moments ago. Could
you expand on that?
Golfer:
Well, say there are two golfers who are born with similar skill levels, so there's no head-start
for either (!), if one practices more and learns more quickly, and hence moves to a higher skill
level, well then surely you could then safely say he was a "better" golfer.
David:
Well, more skilled certainly, but you would need to look at the circumstances which led to the
one golfer practicing more than the other. It's not difficult to imagine a situation where a kid
who enjoyed playing golf and had a certain talent for it would want to practice and improve, perhaps
more so than someone who did not initially show any great promise. The child may also be lucky
enough to be growing up in a supportive and encouraging environment, and may well get a lot of
enjoyment out of the attention he receives when he plays well, or just enjoy that feeling of support
and achievement. From there it's not a huge leap to imagine how that child might practice much
more and "work harder" at his golf than a child who isn't in that very fortunate situation. That's
only one example, but hopefully you can begin to see that even if a child practices extremely hard,
dedicates himself to golf for years and achieves an ever increasing level of skill, while this
may be a wonderful thing for that person as he grows into a competitive golfer, and while it may
bring great pleasure, there really isn't any way in which that person would be justified in feeling
"superior" to anyone else, as the level of golf he plays at is simply the result of all his very
personal and uniquely individual experience.
Golfer:
So has all of this winning and losing thing really got more to do with how we think others perceive
us, or how we want them to think of us?
David:
That's an interesting one. Let's say you win a tournament. Would you be quite happy not to tell
anyone whatsoever about your win?
Golfer:
No, I'd want to tell some people about it. I'd be quite glad if quite a few others found out about
it as well!
David:
OK, to help make sense of why that might be the case, let's think how you would feel if no-one
were to ever find out about your win, let's say the biggest win of your career to date.
Golfer:
Hmm, I'd really really want to tell somebody!
David:
Tell them that you won?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Can you think why?
Golfer:
So they'd know how good I am.
David:
As a golfer?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Good in terms of … ?
Golfer:
Well, my skill level and mental tenacity
David:
Well, your skill level is the product of a number of things. First, your natural ability, which
is given to you by chance, and which you have done nothing whatsoever to deserve. Would you agree
with that?
Golfer:
Well, it's a bit harsh but OK
David:
And second, no small amount of practice, indeed you may have practiced very hard to get to the
skill level you have attained.
Golfer:
Yes, hard practice
David:
And though we often make a virtue of hard work and hard practice let me ask this.
Why have you practiced?
Golfer:
To improve
David:
So that … ?
Golfer:
So that I might win more tournaments
David:
So that … ?
Golfer:
So that people will see how good I am!
David:
So all that hard work and practice is done so that people can tell you that you are a good golfer?
Golfer:
Well, that makes it sound like a very shallow reason. I practice for myself too.
David:
You may do, but you did say that you would find it very difficult not to tell people about
a big win. Would this not mean that much of what you are striving to achieve is so that you will
gain other people's approval? Is there really much glory in that? Or certainly, as a reason
for practicing is that a very "virtuous" or "worthy" reason?
Golfer:
Hmm, well, no, not really
David:
So, if you do win consistently, this may well mean that you have attained a higher skill level
than your fellow competitors, or happen to have figured your way through a number of mental difficulties
and misunderstandings, putting you in a more favourable position to play tournament golf. But for
others to think that that somehow makes you more "worthwhile" or "better" in some fundamental sense
is surely a misunderstanding on their part. In fact, if they were to think that you are
more worthy of praise because you win a tournament as opposed to coming somewhere further back,
so thinking in terms of "winners" and "losers", notice that they too would be labouring under the
misapprehension that winning is really the most important thing, and so their own self-esteem and
sense of worth may well be dependant on their own winning and losing, and so they would feel pressure
to try their very best to win at all costs, and would be harder on themselves if they didn't happen
to win. Do you see where we go with this?
Golfer:
Yes, it's kind of like, the people who would think it praiseworthy, or the most important thing
to win, would only think that because they would be linking self-worth with skill level and winning,
which wouldn't leave them in a very nice place either.
David:
Well, think about it, we can't all win in tournaments, so does this mean that only the winner is
allowed to be happy and have fun and everyone else must feel worthless because their current level
of skill or clarity of thought aren't quite at that level? Of course that would be nonsense!
Golfer:
So, what are you saying then? That I shouldn't want to win?
David:
Not at all! To want to win, to be competitive is a human instinct, but to link that to how good
or bad you feel about yourself just doesn't make any sense. If we truly begin to see that winning
is a result, not a cause, we can begin to think more in terms of curiosity, fun, learning, improving,
and that way there is no pressure, no need to perform to a certain level. And the more
fun you have, the more curious you will be, and the more curious you are the more you will learn,
and the more you learn the more you will improve, and the more you improve the more you will win!
But do you see that the fundamental thing here is having fun and being happy with wherever
you are at the moment with your golf. It is that fun and happiness that will lead to everything
else.
Golfer:
Yes, but it's tough though not to think of other people when I play. There are some that I don't
want to disappoint, like when I play golf with my dad, or others that I don't want to think badly
of my play, like my peers, or others that I don't want to laugh at me, like other golfers or people
in the crowd when I play.
David:
OK, that's a lot of people you've got in mind there! Let's take those examples one at a time and
look at what, if anything, is actually going on for those people when you play golf. Let's start
with the example of your dad. Can you be a little more specific as to how exactly you might "disappoint"
him?
Golfer:
Well, when we play together, or if I'm in a tournament, I feel a pressure to play well for
him, so as not to disappoint him.
David:
OK, what exactly does it mean to "disappoint him"?
Golfer:
Em, to not live up to his expectations?
David:
Yes, of course if he had no expectations of you it would be impossible to disappoint him. Well,
do you know if he actually has any expectations of you, and if so what are they?
Golfer:
Well, I know he wants me to do well.
David:
Do well?
Golfer:
Yes, to play as well as I can.
David:
And you're sure he wants you to do as well as you can, even if that means that you don't enjoy
playing so much around him because of that "expectation" or "pressure"?
Golfer:
Well, no, I think he wants me to enjoy my golf too.
David:
Well, we have a contradiction here, and perhaps we can make it clearer by making the example a
little more extreme. Either your dad wants you to be happy, in which case he would do nothing to
try to make you feel unhappy or uncomfortable or under pressure, or he wants you to win at all
costs (perhaps because of how it may reflect on his son?), and to heck with how you feel
in the meantime, because winning is the most important thing. The real question is, though, do
you actually know what your dad is thinking at all when you play golf?
Golfer:
Well, no not for sure.
David:
So who definitely is having these thoughts about performing well and pressure and so on?
Golfer:
Well, me
David:
So is it that you assume that your dad has expectations of you?
Golfer:
Yes, I do
David:
So, to be clear here, the expectations are definitely yours and may or may not be your
father's, right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
How do expectations work? What is an expectation? What would cause you to expect something
to happen?
Golfer:
You'd need to have some past experience of a certain thing happening for you to expect it to happen
again.
David:
And would that have just happened once, or a number of times, with a certain consistency?
Golfer:
Yes, a number of times
David:
So, how often have you actually played really well in front of your dad?
Golfer:
Really not that often!
David:
OK, so right there, your experience is telling you that, for some reason, you don't play all that
well, or at least not consistently well, in front of your dad. So first, do you see that your experience
is telling you that your "expectation" is simply unrealistic at the moment. You expect yourself
to play well in your dad's presence, or as well as at other times when he is not there, even though
experience tells you that that has never consistently happened!
Golfer:
OK, but I want to play well for him!
David:
Yes, of course, and let's look at that. But it is important to be clear on the unrealistic nature
of your own expectation. Now, can you think why you don't tend to play as well in front of him
as, say, when you are on your own?
Golfer:
Again it comes back to pressure.
David:
Pressure to do what?
Golfer:
Pressure to play well in case I disappoint him! Argh! It's like a vicious circle!
David:
OK, well we've established that we can't be sure if your play actually does or does not disappoint
your dad. He may well be thinking about all sorts of other things when he plays along with you,
like his own game (!), or that he doesn't want to disappoint his son, or embarrass himself in front
of his son! We've got to remember that, just as we spend most of our time thinking
about ourselves and our own predicaments, so others tend to do just the same about their own lives
and predicaments. But we can actually get to a point where we kind of assume that other people
spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about us, as if we are somehow more important or special
than everyone else! And, of course, to ourselves we are, but it just might be that pretty much
everyone thinks the same way too!
Golfer:
Yes, kind of getting so wound up in yourself that you only see others in relation to yourself,
not as individuals in their own right.
David:
That's it. Now, however, that doesn't solve the possibility that your dad actually may be
disappointed with how you play. We need to address that possibility, just in case! If your dad
did feel disappointed with how you play, wouldn't that mean that how you play is somehow
important for him?
Golfer:
Yes, he might feel bad for me if I don't play well.
David:
But let's be careful. To feel bad for someone, is that the same as to feel disappointed for them,
or disappointed in them?
Golfer:
Well, yes, I suppose to feel bad for them is more to empathise with them, with their own sense
of disappointment.
David:
Is that how you think your dad feels when you don't play so well?
Golfer:
Yes, it probably actually is more that way
David:
But again, and just in case, let's say your dad does actually feel let down, that you
have disappointed him with how you've played, or maybe even that how you've played
reflects badly on him. First and foremost, do you see that if that's actually how he thinks,
he would be linking his own feelings, feeling happy, feeling disappointed, with something that
you are doing, over which he has no direct control. Again, taking this to the extreme,
if someone were to say to you, "it's completely your responsibility to make me happy,
if you don't play to the best of your ability then it will be your fault that I'm unhappy and disappointed",
would that make any sense at all? Put another way, do you think that anyone else should take responsibility
for your happiness? The only person who can be truly responsible for your happiness is
you! Just as the only person who can be responsible for your dad's happiness is your dad! Nothing
you do can make him happy or unhappy, it is the way he sees things, if indeed that
is the way he sees things, that will make him happy or otherwise.
Golfer:
So, what you're saying is that it is impossible for me to disappoint him, the only thing that might
disappoint him are his own ideas and expectations.
David:
Yes
Golfer:
Yes, but that whole idea of only being responsible for your own happiness. Isn't that a very selfish
thing?
David:
Selfish?
Golfer:
Yes, surely you should want to make others happy too?
David:
Well, let's think. All that time you are trying to make your dad happy when you play golf, how
happy does that make you feel?
Golfer:
Well, not very
David:
So does this mean that your dad's happiness is more important than yours? Do you think he'd be
happy to see you unhappy?
Golfer:
Of course not!
David:
And similarly, would you expect anyone to make themselves unhappy just so that you could be happy?
Golfer:
No
David:
And would it make you happier to spend time around people who were going out of their way to behave
differently than they otherwise would just so that you can be happy, or would you rather spend
time around people who are happy in themselves and don't need you to behave in any particular
way for them at all? Then you could simply all be happy together and share in each other's happiness,
which would probably make you all even more happy!
Golfer:
OK, OK!
David:
But bringing it right back to your own experience. What's the one thing that would make you most
happy for your dad?
Golfer:
If he were happy
David:
Exactly, and so it just might be that the one thing that would make him most happy for you would
be …?
Golfer:
If I'm happy myself!
David:
Of course, we can't be sure of this, and people do often invest their own sense of well-being in
the achievements or otherwise of others, but that really can't work in the long-term. So, at a
simple practical level, the only thing you can do that would be of any use at all in your dad achieving
his own happiness, not that that is in any way your responsibility, is to be happy in
yourself! Anything beyond that he'll pretty much have to figure out for himself!
Golfer:
OK, I think I can begin to see that
David:
Now, you also mentioned not wanting people to think "badly" of how you play. Is that right? Can
you explain that a little more?
Golfer:
I don't want them to think I can't play well.
David:
Compared to?
Golfer:
Compared to them or to other players. Oh, I see, we're back into that whole territory of comparison
or unrealistic comparison, and how it is that that actually brings about the feelings of pressure.
David:
Right, so, while we can't of course be sure what other people are thinking at all while we play
golf, and let's remember they may well be caught up in their own world of thought just as you are
(!), what we can be sure of is that if they are judging how you play, by comparing your
standard of play to themselves or to someone else, then this means that they think that that is
a perfectly valid and sensible thing to do. Notice that this tells us much more about their own
thinking than it tells us about you or your golf. What it also means is that if they are caught
up in these comparative and judgemental thoughts, it would be likely that they will apply this
to themselves as well as to you. So how would that make them feel when they play golf
in front of others?
Golfer:
Well, I guess that would put them under a lot of pressure, as they might fear that others would
be judging them! Again it's a vicious circle!
David:
Yes, and it's always interesting to me when I see a golfer berating himself, or talking to himself
after what he considers a poor shot. I wonder if they tend to do that when they are playing on
their own? How much of that talk is to try to somehow justify what has happened, to blame it on
something, on luck, or to call themselves stupid for making that mistake, so that others will know
that the player himself knows it shouldn't happen that way, or doesn't usually happen that way.
You can tell a lot about what's going on for a player from those comments he makes on the course.
Golfer:
Hmm, yes, I do find myself doing that at times out on the course.
David:
Yes, but the one huge advantage that you can begin to have over those you compete against is an
understanding of the destructive belief systems that lead to those thought processes. Is that clearer
to you now?
Golfer:
Yes, and then there are those people who might laugh at me if I play a poor shot. What about them?
David:
Well, let's think. We can ask a couple of questions here. First of all, if you can think of one
particular person who might laugh at you when a mistake happens, would that person laugh at you
more when you're with a group of golfers or when it is just the two of you?
Golfer:
Hmm, hard to say, I think more when we're in a fourball, when there are more people around.
David:
So, can you think why it might be that his behaviour would be different in front of these others?
Golfer:
Maybe he's trying to impress them somehow?
David:
Well, we wouldn't know for sure, but certainly if he's laughing and "making fun" of you in a way
that you're not enjoying, you can be fairly sure that he's more concerned with the reaction of
the others than your feelings. And this would be born out by the fact that if it was just the two
of you, he may well simply say "hard luck" or something to that effect.
Golfer:
Yes, I can actually think of a person who does just that. Well, he did laugh once when it was just
the two of us, but I think he realised by my reaction that I didn't appreciate it!
David:
It might also be of interest to think about how this person behaves when he plays his own
shots on the course. If he doesn't hit every shot perfectly does he tend to get frustrated or behave
as we described previously, berating himself and so on, or perhaps trying to make light of it to
hide his frustration?
Golfer:
So really what you're saying is, even if someone does laugh at me when I play a poor shot, it really
says more about them and how they see things than about me.
David:
Yes, if you like we can look at that for a second.
Golfer:
OK, look at what?
David:
Well, the fact that if a mistake happens when you play, how or why somebody might think that that
was worthy of condemnation or was somehow a justification for laughing at you. This brings us into
the whole area of what a mistake actually is. So what is a mistake?
Golfer:
It's when you do something wrong
David:
Let's look at that a little more closely. A mistake is "something you do wrong". Is that it?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Wrong in what way?
Golfer:
Well, not right! Not what you want to happen, not accurate I suppose.
David:
OK, but just notice how powerful that word "wrong" can be. In the case of a golf shot, if accuracy
is your criteria, then an "inaccurate" shot, or a shot that doesn't come off the way you intended
could be considered a mistake, right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it
David:
OK, and is a mistake something that you actually do, in the same way you might do something
else, like touch your nose. Is it something you do like that?
Golfer:
Well, no, you don't want it to happen, of course
David:
OK, but do you do a mistake or does it happen?
Golfer:
I suppose it happens, and then you notice that it's happened
David:
It's important to be clear on that one. The first moment you notice a mistake is once it has actually
happened! So that would make it pretty difficult for you to somehow "make sure" it didn't happen,
wouldn't it!
Golfer:
Yes!
David:
So, just to be clear, a mistake definitely can happen but it's not something you do?
Golfer:
Right
David:
And do you intend for it to happen?
Golfer:
No
David:
OK, so maybe our definition of a mistake has changed a little. So, instead of a mistake being "something
you do wrong", we've come up with, "a mistake is something that happens that is inaccurate and
which you don't intend to happen"
Golfer:
Yes, OK it's a bit long but it will do!
David:
And now that we've changed the definition, do you see that really it would be impossible for you
to make sure you don't make a mistake, given that you don't actually make
them anyway!
Golfer:
Yes, but I still don't want them to happen!
David:
Because?
Golfer:
Because they're bad!
David:
OK, let's take a look at an example of a learning situation to help us get a clearer handle on
the whole "mistake" thing. Think of a young child learning to stand or take its first steps. Would
you agree that the child is going to fall over quite a few times before it "learns" to stand or
walk?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
So let's take one of these moments where the child falls over on its bum. Did the child intend
to fall over?
Golfer:
No
David:
Did the child do the falling or did the falling over happen?
Golfer:
It happened
David:
And if the ultimate goal is, let's say, to stand up without falling over, has the child achieved
its goal?
Golfer:
No
David:
So we could say that what has happened is inaccurate in that it's not what the child wants
to happen?
Golfer:
OK
David:
So, according to our own criteria for what a mistake is, a mistake has happened. Would that be
right?
Golfer:
Well, I guess but you wouldn't think of it as a mistake.
David:
But let's be clear here, what has just happened does fit all our criteria for a mistake?
Golfer:
Yes, I suppose
David:
Yes, I can feel your reluctance here, and I don't want to pick on the poor child! So, would you
say that the child falling over is in any way a bad thing?
Golfer:
Well, not really because it will learn from that.
David:
OK well let's look at exactly how the child will learn from that. I'm not an expert here
but this is more or less what happens. As the child falls over, the brain receives lots of information
or feedback from all the balance and sensory systems and then processes that information so that
its next attempt at standing will be a little more "accurate". So basically, without that information
the brain would have no way of making its next attempt more accurate. Does that make sense?
Golfer:
OK, yes
David:
And let's say you have a well-meaning mum who doesn't want her child to fall over, or "make mistakes"
as it learns to walk, and so uses a harness or stands behind and holds the child up, do you see
what the problem would be? Literally the system would be starved of information and therefore couldn't
use that information to make further, slightly more accurate attempts at standing or walking. So,
quite literally, no learning could take place. Well, the child would learn to lean on its mum but
that's about it! So do you see that the falling over and the information gained from that and the
processing of that information for the next attempt and so on and so on actually is the
learning process. Take away the falling over and you take away the information and you take away
any chance of making a more accurate next attempt! The falling over is the learning, the
"mistake" is the learning!
Golfer:
Woah! … so why do we think of mistakes as such bad things then?
David:
Well, of course many people do, but, question, do you tend to feel worse about your mistakes when
they happen in front of others?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Well, that could give us a clue. Also, notice that in many areas of our lives, like education for
example, we tend to be taught that in order to achieve a goal we've got to "try our best" to directly
achieve that goal. We are actually taught to "try not to make mistakes", as if they are somehow
a bad thing. But, as we've seen from the example of the child learning to walk, that is a complete
misunderstanding of the learning process. Once you have learned a skill, mistakes will not tend
to happen when you perform that particular skill (unless of course you get all distracted by what
you think the other people around will think if you "make a mistake"!), but it's important to be
clear that that "perfect" state of affairs, where mistakes no longer happen, only came about because
of all the learning that took place, which only came about as a direct result of all the experience
gained and information and feedback gained from all the so-called "mistakes" that happened during
the learning process. So to think that you can achieve a state where mistakes no longer happen
by simply trying not to let mistakes happen is a complete misunderstanding of how learning
actually works. This is bit like the high-handicapper who goes to the driving range night after
night and tries to learn how to hit the ball straight by trying not to let the ball go to the left
or right, without any real idea of why it's going to the left or right, or even why it
happens to go straight once in a while. This, by the way, would easily lead into the whole territory
of "frustration" in learning and what that means. Anyway, what we can now see is that anybody who
ever laughs at you or makes fun of you in an unfriendly way when a mistake happens is undoubtedly
labouring under this misapprehension, and will no doubt feel a great deal of pressure themselves
to try not to "mess up" or "make mistakes".
Golfer:
So this whole learning process thing, are you saying that I've just got to let mistakes happen
when I play?
David:
Well, in a way, have you ever been able to not let them happen? Do you actually have any
control whatsoever as to whether mistakes happen or not?
Golfer:
No, I suppose not
David:
If we look at the example of the child again, that might make it a little clearer. As we've seen,
there can often be some misunderstanding between things we do and things that happen.
If we take the example of the child learning to stand or walk, we could ask the question, is the
child "doing" the learning or is the learning "happening"? This would be a pretty important distinction
to make. Does the child think to itself "I've got to learn all these skills like standing, talking,
walking etc. or does the learning happen as a by-product of the child's innate curiosity?
Golfer:
I think the learning is happening there, the child's not really having to do
anything to make it happen.
David:
And what about all the skills that you have learned over time? Can you see that actually all those
skills are really learned by your own built-in learning system? All you need to do is to remain
curious about how to improve your game, and every time a shot doesn't come off quite as you'd like
you can think about it and examine what you were doing or thinking as you played the shot and what
kind of result you got, so kind of get the feedback from the shot, and use all that information
to try the shot again, perhaps on the practice ground. So do you see that, if you can begin to
think of things in this way, literally every shot you play in golf becomes a learning opportunity,
so whether you happen to get the desired result or not, you can still learn something useful from
the shot. If, on the other hand, you get all caught up in the result of the shot, where the ball
ends up, and get all busy getting upset with yourself, or blaming the wind or the rain or the ground
or the crowd or your luck (!), notice that at that very moment you've physically lost the opportunity
to actually learn and improve. So you'll more than likely find yourself making the same mistake
quite a few more times before you actually learn how to avoid it, if at all.
Golfer:
In that way I'll learn even more quickly and have more fun!
David:
Yes, finally, rather than being stuck in all these "vicious" circles as you call them, you can
find yourself in a "virtuous" circle, where literally your only aim is to be curious and have as
much fun as possible, which will give your learning nature the very best possible opportunity to
express itself, which will lead to an ever improving level of skill, and who knows, even to more
victories, which will lead to more fun and curiosity and so on and so on!
Golfer:
OK, this sounds pretty cool!
David:
Yes, and you might want to start experimenting with these ideas on the practice ground and on the
course. So, in conclusion, what we've really been looking at here is the true nature of cause
and effect. The only cause you can ever really be responsible for and indeed the
only one you actually need to be responsible for is the initial cause of how
you think. Everything else is, at some stage or another, an effect, or to be more precise,
part of a chain of effects that stem from that cause. So clear thinking about the shot you are
about to play, and then not getting in your way as you play the shot are the only things
you can be responsible for in a causal sense. Everything else like "the ball has to go
there", "I've got to make par", "I've got to shoot a good round", "I've got
to win" are simply not and cannot be within your direct sphere of control. They are and always
will be symptoms or results of those initial thought processes. But the beauty of this is that
the more you understand that you cannot make anything directly happen at all, and the
more you are simply able to let your system do what it knows how, the more accurately you will
play anyway. In effect you can really have the best of both worlds, have your cake and eat it,
if you like!
We've hopefully become clearer on how you could actually improve as a golfer,
and have lots of fun along the way, and how those improvements will lead to a more competitive
level of play, and therefore may lead to more tournament victories. At the same time, however,
we can see that while winning is wonderful and great fun, it does not define you. As we saw earlier,
one of the most important things for you previously was other people witnessing your victory. That
would mean that victory would define you to those people who believe that winning is the most important
thing in life, and the main reason they would think that would be because they would believe it
would validate them in front of other people. But the only people it would somehow validate them
to would be other people labouring under the same misapprehension! Now there's a vicious circle
if ever there was one. And if any of that were actually real or true, what about the poor golfer
living on his own on a desert island! Would he not be able to enjoy playing golf because he would
never have the chance to win anything and therefore to "validate" himself as a player in the eyes
of others? Or, might he, in fact, be in the wonderful position of simply playing golf as a game.
Playing a game where you get the chance to use your imagination to visualise a shot happening,
of creating something wonderful in your imagination and sometimes, just sometimes, seeing it brought
into reality by your wonderful human learning system. And having so much fun with it that you play
lots and lots and your system learns even more and your imagination becomes reality more and more
often. Might he be in a position to play the game for its own beauty, for the joy of seeing a well-struck
shot soar through the sky, for the thrill of witnessing your imagination become reality, the same
thrill almost every kid who's ever picked up a golf club has had.
Golfer:
The same thrill I had when I first began to play. I'd like to get back to that!
CONCLUSION
The examples given in this article have sprung from my own experience. While
I have tried to cover as many issues as possible that have come up for me over time, I realise
that my experience is just that, my own experience.
However, while the details of those experiences and belief systems may be different
from those of others, I hope the process of asking detailed questions and trying to look beyond
the simple generic labels we tend to put on our thoughts and experiences will be of use in helping
you to figure out some of your own issues, should you have any that you'd like to address!
~~~~~~~
There is a small biography of personal details about
the author below.
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About the Author
David Robertson is a singer, music teacher, golfer, rugby player,
and certificated Alexander Technique teacher who has been studying and applying the LearningMethods
work for some years now in his own life and with his pupils.
David Robertson
8 Killyvilly Court, Enniskillen, Co. Fermanagh, BT744DP, Northern Ireland, UK
Tel: +44 (0)2866-328457
E-mail:
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